


Phobia / MarkHyuck

by bubu_s



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:41:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubu_s/pseuds/bubu_s
Summary: " "I thought I knew you... that you trusted me... that we were friends... that-""W-wh-what? Are you reproaching me?""It's that you've been lying to me all this time and-""Do you hear yourself?! Tell me!! Do you hear yourself?!! Donghyuck you reproach me, knowing how you behave !? You know all the fucking damage you've done to me?! Do you know the weight that you have made me carry? As if remembering everything they did to me when I was little was not enough in itself! That trauma is supposed to be forgotten, shit!""But it never occurred to you to tell me!""Disgust me as much as you want", he took the keys out of his pocket and opened the door to his house. "I'm tired." "
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: this story has mentions of homophobia, bullying, racism and mental illness

"Mark, please, you have to go to school. You have been absent all week."

"I don't want to go."

"Yes, I know you don't want to... there are days when I don't want to go to work, but I have to go even if I don't want to... please, son." Mark thought for a few seconds and nodded, he was not achieving anything fighting with his mother. He got up to put on his clothes and headed for the school with her.

On the way he ran into one of his classmates, but he wasn't expected to react the way he did.

His breathing quickened the same way his pulse did. His feet stayed glued to the floor and by reflex he reached down and covered his face.

_“"Chinese of shit" he put his hands to his eyes and stretched them pretending to have them as the opposite. "What's good about dog meat?" They burst out laughing. "It's weird that you don't know karate, Lee" Lee, Mark Lee was the one who was lying on the ground at that moment, receiving hits and insults from his classmates._

_"He looks like a fag too" they laughed again._

_"Okay, let's stop, the teachers will come... and you," he pointed at Mark. "Remember, no one can find out about this, or you'll end up worse." Mark nodded, picked up his things and then stood up.”_

"Son what's wrong?" His mother asked scared.

"I-I don't know," he answered agitated. His little body swayed back and forth without stopping. He couldn't take the hyperventilation any longer and lost consciousness.

He woke up in the hospital, not really understanding what was going on. And the following days he remained just as confused between psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.

The few things that he was able to hear about the conversations his parents had with the doctors, gave him a little idea of what was happening, the mood of his parents didn't give him much hope and made him see that something good wasn't happening.

"Your son has agoraphobia. He told me he was being bullied at school..." The psychologist kept talking, but Mrs. Lee was no longer listening.

_“"What is this?" She asked Mark, seeing a purple mark on one of his wrists._

_"I collided with a friend in the school," he answered and went to his room. ”_

"Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that usually appears after one or more panic attacks, it includes fear of places and situations that can cause panic, impotence or shame. There is a need to avoid places and situations that can cause feelings of panic, confinement, helplessness or shame. No matter how much there is treatment, there is no cure for this disease." there is no cure.

The world of the child's parents was falling apart.

His parents tried everything, they took him to all the specialists they knew, but there was no progress.

"I want to go back to Korea," he told his psychologist while he painted a picture that she had given him.

"Yes? Why?"

"Everything here reminds me of them," he said and handed her the sheet once he finished, his psychologist looked at the picture and smiled at him.

"You paint pretty well."

"Thank you." The lady took her agenda, jotted down a few things, and left his room.

"If you have the means, it would be a good option," she was talking to the parents who were waiting for her outside. "In the end, we must ensure his tranquility. He may not make much sense of what he thinks, but there is no way to make him understand that. He is still young and does not understand many things."

"Are you sure it will work?"

"Not completely. But there are not many options, he provide and we choose. At least he could get out of his room, he would stop thinking that they see him from the street."

Both adults thought about it for a long time, staying would be a logical but selfish decision. They ended up accepting their son's request.

"Do you remember what Korea is like?"

"I remember Grandma, I don't remember much."

"You were very small," she smiled wistfully. "You know what it means to travel, right? There are going to be a lot of people at the airport and people are going to walk around the house leaving the moving boxes."

"Whether."

"You have to be strong," she caressed one of his shoulders. "Go leave these boxes with your father, I'll keep packing."

Because of the child's age, they preferred not to give him medication (especially because if they affirmed that, it would end up generating a dependency), but due to the trip, they went to his psychiatrist, who prescribed tranquilizers. And as much as the fear remained, Mark was not very aware of what was happening. The journey was as uneventful as possible.

"Was there a guitar?" He asked when he saw a guitar case among the boxes.

"I used to play it when I was young," his father told him. He sat down, opened the case, and took out the instrument. "I think I still remember how to tune it." Mark sat next to him and watched as he tightened the strings.

"How did you learn to play the guitar?"

"Your uncle taught me... that's it, let's see if I remember how to play it," he laughed.

Mark watched carefully as he played the guitar, and if he could fall in love with an instrument, then he had found love at first sight.

His father left him the guitar in his room as he saw the enthusiasm with which he looked at it and left the rest of the boxes with his things for him to order.

He was taking out his notebooks to put on his desk and between them was a book, he opened the first page and read.

"I know that you're not comfortable with the Korean language, I hope this helps you to feel better. I'm gonna always be by your side, you will be fine, you're strong. Love you. -Your favorite hyung . "

He smiled and put it on the table. The doorbell rang and he leaned out of his window. Outside of his house was a lady and the one he assumed would be her son. He overheard the conversation that the adults had and saw how the boy began to observe his house when he got bored. He saw the first floor and then raised his gaze to the second. As soon as he felt the another one's gaze on him, he moved away from his window.

He shouldn't be afraid of him, he had never seen him, there was no reason for him to hurt him and he hadn't even spoken to him. He shouldn't be scared, but he was.

* * *

"Son, the neighbors will come to dinner, try to get along with the little one, he's almost your age, you could have a friend," said his father, Mark nodded, went to his room, ordered it and sighed.

“"Sometimes you have to take risks to make things better."

"But I'm fine the way I am."

"You could be better."

"There's always the chance that something bad will happen when I talk to someone. There is always the risk of failure."

"The biggest failure is that nothing happens." ”

Maybe it was time to start a change.

"Mark, you don't have to talk to him if you're not feeling well," his mother was talking to him.

"It's okay, if he never tries he'll always stay that way," said his father.

"Dad is right..."

"Mark... okay. Remember that I am by your side if something happens." The little boy nodded. "They should come soon, go change your clothes." Mark got up from the sofa and went up to his room. He put on black cargo pants and an oversized white shirt. He waited for his parents to call him and he went down to dinner.

On the stairs, he controlled his breathing little by little, concentrating on the fact that he was in his house, with his parents and that they would protect him.

"DongHyuck, Lee DongHyuck," greeted the boy he had seen outside his house a few months ago.

"M-mark Lee." He bowed and went to sit down.

Mark ate in silence, paying attention to even the smallest gestures they made. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"You w-want to go to my room?"

"Sure," he smiled at him and they walked upstairs. "What did you say your name was?"

"Mark."

"Where are you from?"

"I used to live in Canada."

"Oh... how old are you?"

"13, you?"

"I'm 12," he smiled at him. "You play guitar?" He pointed to a white guitar in the corner of the room. Mark nodded and went to take it.

"I started playing a few months ago," he said, before playing one of the many melodies he had already learned.

"It seems that you have been practicing for years."

"Thank you." He put the guitar aside. "What do you like to do?"

"Listen to music... read, I don't know, the typical thing. I sing from time to time, what do you do?"

"I-I like to write, sometimes I write stories, sometimes song's lyrics... I don't sing very well, maybe you could sing them" Mark, when he didn't get a response from the minor, started to get nervous. "Sorry."

"No, no... it's just that... I don't know, I've never sung compositions by someone I know," he smiled. "Can I see one?"

"Sure..." He opened one of the drawers of his nightstand and took out a notebook. "There are several here, if you want to take a look at it." Donghyuck took the notebook and went to sit on the older one's bed while he read.

"How... nice... you write very nice things," he raised his gaze to the opposite, Mark separated the contact instantly.

"I only write things that come to mind."

"It's beautiful." They heard a knock on the door and they both turned their gaze to it.

"Come in," Mark said, and Donghyuck's mother entered.

"Son, it's late, we must go home."

"Okay," he agreed and got up. "I'll come sing with you another day," he smiled at him and bowed.

"A-ah ... uh ... ye... su-sure." He bowed quickly and saw both of them leave his room.

He released a long-held sigh and went to lie down on his bed.

It had been years since he had last spoken to someone close to his age and he did not understand why he had been able to speak to him so calmly. He usually would have panicked and couldn't even breathe properly.

He shook his head trying to keep the thoughts away and got up from his bed, he would have time to process things.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mark, Donghyuck is downstairs, shall I tell him to come up?"

"Hhm? Did he have anything left?"

"He asked for you."

"Okay... yeah, tell him to come up." His mother left his room and he quickly set it up. Why was he asking about him?

"Can I?" Donghyuck asked at the entrance of his room. Mark nodded, the youngest came in and sat on his bed.

"Why did you come?"

"I thought I was going to see him at school, but you won't go, why?" Mark swallowed hard and looked away from him. Donghyuck was watching him intently, waiting for a response from him.

"Nothing..." he sighed.

"You have the books of the school," he said as he looked at his bookshelf. "I've seen the teachers come to your house, why don't you go to school?"

"I... it's nothing..."

"Hyung... something has to be." Donghyuck dropped his gaze on him. "I'm not going to judge you," he smiled at him.

"Why do you care about me?"

"Why not?"

"Because you don't know me."

"Hyung... I won't know you well, but I do know about your being. And what little you have spoken to me have pleased me... I'm not going to judge you... I want to know if I can help."

"Don't worry, you have enough with your life."

"It won't be a burden, I assure you."

"Are you sure?" Donghyuck nodded. "Okay..." Mark took a deep breath. "I'm afraid to go out, people cause me panic attacks." The minor was silent, he was not expecting that response. "It's ridiculous, I know."

"N-no hyung, it's not, don't think that." Now it was Mark who wasn't expecting the opposite answer. He had always encountered rejection in his surroundings and suddenly there was someone who accepted him without even questioning. "May I know what happened? I mean, there must be some reason for that."

"It's complicated..."

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine."

"Thank you," he smiled at him. "Youyou go a course below me, right? If you need help with your studies, I'm here."

"Thank you hyung."

Frequenting the eldest's house little by little became a costum between them, music already united them in a sustainable way, but the chemistry that existed between them they had never been experienced with anyone.

"So... yes, yes, sure, excellent." He stroked his back and gave him a smile. "Why are you asking me for help if you understand?"

"Ngh... I'm lazy to think..."

"Sloth... you're a cheater."

"Hyung ..."

"Why do you complain?"

"I'm not a cheater, I just find better solutions."

"Sure," they laughed. "Did they give you the chemistry test?"

"Yes hyung." He went to get his backpack, from inside he took out a sheet and handed it to him.

"A 9, well done."

"It could have been 10."

"Do not be so hard on yourself."

"It's for Mom."

"Your mother... let her be, a 9 is a good result... do you want to see a series?" Donghyuck nodded and sorted his things out while the other guy set up the television.

They heard a knock on the door and turned to see the older's mother enter through it.

"I made you a snack." She left them two plates with a sandwich each. "And a little present." She placed a bag of chips on the desk. "Donghyuck, are you staying for dinner?"

"I think so, my mother is going to be late from work."

"Okay." She picked up some glasses that had been taken and left the room.

"Shall we eat first?" Mark nodded and they sat down to eat.

"Are we still watching the series we were watching yesterday?"

"Yes." Mark, once he finished eating he went to sit on his bed and selected the series on the television. Donghyuck followed a few moments later, settling in next to him.

Mark was commenting on the chapter, when he didn't hear a response from the minor, he separated his gaze from the television and directed it towards him. Donghyuck had fallen asleep next to him, the older one had felt how he had approached him but he had not taken more importance, at that moment he realized that he had done it while he was sleeping.

"Donghyuck..." he whispered when the younger one approached him and rested his head on his chest. When he received no answer, he smiled to himself and left one of his arms behind the other's back.

"Hyung..." whispered the younger.

"Are you awake?" Donghyuck nodded, looked at the position they were in and separated the contact between them. "At what time did you go to sleep last night?"

"About four in the morning," he said as he stretched.

"You're sleeping very late."

"It's because of my parents' divorce and all the fights they have..."

"I understand... you know you can stay the night here anytime you want."

"Yes I know, hyung." Mark settled back and turned off the TV.

"We should go to dinner, it's about time." They both got out of bed and went downstairs.

As much as the older's mother did not notice it, discomfort prevailed in the environment.

Perhaps it was the fact that Donghyuck had mentioned the divorce of his parents, or more than anything it was that he had passed the limit that he had marked in his head regarding physical contact with others, especially men.

And it is that as much as he did not like to get together with women, because he did not like anything "feminine" (according to him), simply being very close to another man made him uncomfortable, and Mark was not exempt from that.

"Thanks for the food," Donghyuck said as he went to put his plate in the dishwasher.

"No wonder, you're just another child of the family," Mark's mother smiled at him. Both young men helped clear the table and then returned to the older's room.

"And how are things at your house?" Mark asked as he sat down on his bed.

"Not very well ... I want everything to be over soon."

"It will happen."

"I want my father to go but not at the same time. I feel very guilty... the weight my mother is going to carry having to raise me by herself, "he snorted. "And at the same time I don't like to lean on you."

"Let's go in parts. It's not your fault that your parents' relationship didn't work out, it's not like you forced them to marry. And second, you are not a burden to us, in fact we prefer you to be here."

"There are a lot of things going on hyung... apart from exams coming week."

"Yes I know... I've been studying a lot anyway," he sighed. "You must sleep well, your mother should understand that it would be better if you sleep here I guess."

"You know her... it's not very easy to convince her."

"You'll see that if she talks to my mother she will surely say that it's okay if you stay here." He got up and went to his parents' room.


	3. Chapter 3

"Your mother says you can stay until the exams are over."

"Thank you hyung."

"It's nothing, it was easy to convince her."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Donghyuck, it's already late. You should get ready to sleep, you have classes tomorrow."

"Yes... hyung, what happened while we were watching series..."

"Forget it... you were tired." Donghyuck nodded and went to the bathroom to get ready. Meanwhile, Mark ordered the space where the youngest would sleep.

"Sleep well, donsaeng."

"Good night hyung."

[...]

Rapid pulse, high temperature, anxiety. Nervousness, fear, restlessness.

A little faster and... arrived, he managed to make it to the institute on time.

"Fuck..." he sighed and continued walking to his classroom. He settled into his seat and arranged his things.

"I thought you couldn't make it today."

"You were wrong," he smiled. "I slept well last night."

"Yes? You kiddin'? Were your parents nice?"

"I didn't sleep at my house." Renjun was about to add something but the teacher's voice silenced him.

"Silence." Both teenagers sighed and began to take notes.

The day passed normally and the usual habits were repeated.

"I don't understand the need to do that in front of us," Donghyuck complained. Jaemin and Jeno were together, as usual. "If they're going to be with their things, let them keep it for themselves." He made a disgusted face and went to get his lunch.

Renjun just listened without making any comment, there was no use reproaching him, he was the same as talking to a wall.

"And... how did you do in chemistry?"

"I got a 9," he snorted.

"A nine!?" He asked, surprised. "Why do you say it that way? Half the class failed."

"It's just that my mother doesn't like me getting under ten."

"Your mother what? And shit, you got a 9, and with the teacher Oh! I don't understand how the fuck you study to get that marks.” Donghyuck smiled briefly and then they both concentrated on eating.

Maybe a nine wasn't such a bad mark.

"See you tomorrow" he said goodbye to his friends and left the institute quickly towards his house. Or better said, Mark's. He wasn't going to go through the chaos in his.

"Good afternoon," he greeted the older's mother.

"Good afternoon... Mark is sleeping." Donghyuck nodded and went upstairs. That phrase any person would have caught as a sign of being silent and walking carefully around Mark, but the lady had not warned him with those intentions. And Donghyuck knew it.

Mark didn't take naps, it was very difficult for him to sleep during the day, and seeing him sleeping in the middle of the afternoon was already a sign that something was wrong.

Having known him for a considerable time already let Donghyuck know what was going on.

He entered the older's room and cautiously ordered his things. He took the books out of him and started studying at his desk.

He was absorbed in reading and jumped when he heard the abrupt awakening of his friend, his breathing resonated strongly in the room and he could hear him accelerating more and more. He closed his book without thinking and walked quickly to his side, this scenario had already been repeated several times.

"I'm here," he told him as he hugged him. He disliked physical contact, but it was the only thing that calmed Mark at the moment, so he swallowed all his disgust to comfort the older one. "I'm here hyung, I'm here."

"Shit," he sobbed. He tightened the hug even more and hid his face in the opponent's body.

"Okay, okay." he rolled his back.

"Shit, shit, shit," he whispered as he controlled himself.

"That's it ... it's over hyung, it's over" Mark nodded and softened his grip.

"They were there and I ... and I ..."

"Quiet..."

"You... you can stop hugging me, I understand..."

"Thank you." He separated the contact. "You were sweating."

"I-it was a... a nightmare..." He rubbed his eyes and sighed. "I-I'm going to take a shower..."

"Leave the door unlocked." Mark nodded and left the room.

Donghyuck made the bed and went to lower the curtains, it was already night.

He turned on the lamp that was next to the bed, leaving the room illuminated with a soft warm light and went to the desk to turn on the led lamp, which gave off cold light so that he could study well.

He stretched out and sat down to continue studying, many exams awaited him ahead.

After a while he listened Mark entering the room, and then felt his presence next to him.

He turned to see him, he had on his pajama pants and a loose shirt, his hair that was still damp, he was rubbing it with a towel that he then left hanging on his shoulder so he could take the books to study. He opened the first one and began to read.

Donghyuck was amazed at the older man's ability to separate himself from the world while he read. His face remained serious, but not annoyed. The only gesture he made was to move his head slightly as he advanced.

His gaze remained fixed on the other's face, his smooth white skin always winning his attention. He looked down from him to his sharp jaw and his Adam's apple that had lately taken shape.

Was he seeing how focused he was or his physique?

Mark closed the book and he came back to reality, turned to see what he was studying and read the only thing he had written.

"Emperor Taejo of the Goryeo dynasty, unified Korea in"

He hadn't even set the year; he mentally slapped himself and went back to his business.


	4. Chapter 4

Mark's father, after the 3 years, almost 4, that they had been there, had finally deigned to tidy up the room they used as a cellar. And what a surprise they had when they saw the space that was in it.

"There comes a treadmill," Mark said.

"Would you use it?" Asked his mother.

"Yes... it would be good for me."

"I'll buy it myself ... if you get excited I could buy more things," his father said as he dusted his hands off.

His body was getting more and more shape and little by little the exercise he did was increasing.

And Donghyuck did not like that very much, Mark had a body that he liked but considered that only women should have it. Firm legs and arms, slightly visible abs and a small waist. And something else but he didn't like to talk about it, even though he looked at him with recurrence.

"I don't see shit," he snorted, closing the book he was reading.

"You should go to the ophthalmologist."

"It's okay, I can go without glasses..." he said, even though he knew it wasn't true. His vision was blurry and if he wanted to see well he had to endure a headache in return.

"Mark." He changed his tone to a more serious one and they both stared at each other for a few seconds until Mark broke eye contact.

"I know..."

"You know what I was going to tell you."

"I can't lie to you."

"I know you, as much as you lie to yourself, you cannot lie to me."

"I know."

"You haven't thought about going out?"

"I don't know... I guess I shouldn't have the same reaction as before, it's been years."

"I'll come with you." Mark looked him in the eye and smiled at him. He took a deep breath and nodded, then they both went down to the front door to put on their shoes. Mark noticed the difference between his clean white converse, with the practically new sole and the edges neat white; and Donghyuck's black vans, with nearly gray trim and laces and faded fabric.

He chuckled to himself, not expecting even the laces to get dirty.

Donghyuck opened the door and the gentle breeze surrounded them both. The minor left the house and stood in front of the gate to wait for him.

Mark glanced at the door frame and took a step toward it, leaned out, looked both ways, and took another step.

Donghyuck opened the gate and Mark followed him doubtfully.

The following happened in a fraction of seconds, which for the older one were eternal.

Mark raised his gaze and in the distance he observed one of Donghyuck's friends, his eyes widened as much as they could and his pupils were dilated to see better. His breathing quickened and he felt his heartbeat in his ears.

As much as that boy had not even noticed his presence, he could already see in advance how he approached to attack him.

With a lump in his throat, he ran as best he could into his house.

Time didn't feel real, he could see himself sitting on the floor crying and his breath ragged.

Donghyuck closed both doors quickly and almost or as scared as Mark, he was trying to help him.

"Mark? Can you hear me?" Donghyuck looked him in the eye, but the older's gaze was lost in space. His body was there, yet he wasn't. "Mark, please don't do this to me." The minor didn't understand what was happening. His tears ran down his face without stopping. He didn't understand why his friend couldn't do such a simple act as breathing.

Mark, no matter how hard he tried, no longer had control over his body, and between the desperation of both parties he ended up collapsing and losing consciousness in Donghyuck's arms.

"D-don't do this to me..." he hugged the older one and hid his face in him, letting the tears flow. He let out a sigh and in a lucid second, he called the older's mother. Of everything she said, he only heard "I'm on my way" from her. "Hyung, do you hear me?" he moved him gently and Mark slightly opened his eyes.

"Donghyuck," he smiled and leaned back.

"Hyung... how are you?"

"I'm fine, don't worry..." He breathed calmly and kept his eyes closed.

They heard the door being opened and turned to see the older's mother enter through it.

"Son..." she let out a sigh. "Let me take you to your room." Mark, with the help of Donghyuck, got up. His mother took him in her arms and carried him upstairs.

"I don't know what happened," Donghyuck said as he talked to the older's mother. "I'm very sorry, the idea was mine."

"Don't think like that, Mark can make decisions. And I'm sure if you knew he would end up like this, you wouldn't have let him out. Now go with him, I'll make you a snack."

"Thank you" he bowed and entered the major's room. "Hyung, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry." Donghyuck walked over to the bed and lay down next to him.

"What happened?"

"Nothing." Donghyuck hugged him from behind.

"Nothing? Mmh..."

"A friend of yours was close."

"Who was he?"

"I really do not know."

"My friends won't do anything to you. You must keep it in mind."

"I know. I can't control my reaction."

"I'm going to find you a good psychologist and I'll tell your parents to take you there." he put his face on the older man's neck, attaching him closer to him.

"You do not have to.

"I do it because I... want to." He didn't understand why the idea of saying "I love you" to the older one had so much prominence in his mind, he didn't understand why he was going to say that to him in such a natural way.

"Do not feel obligated."

"I know it's not an obligation."

"Thank you." He took one of his hands and stroked it. "What happened to you there?" One of his knuckles had a fairly recent wound.

"I went over to scratch a wall." Mark knew it wasn't true, but he decided not to bring it up further.

Donghyuck without realizing it, that day he was more attached to Mark, who no matter how much he noticed it, did not complain and simply enjoyed the moment. In the end, physical contact was the way he most liked receiving love.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure?"

"It's been 5 months, the psychologist says it's time for me to start going out... and I feel like I'm ready."

"So, let's take advantage of it's exam season, my friends won't be out until it's over."

"I don't think I have a problem being in the square, it's not very far."

"Come on," he smiled at him.

Mark, with a hesitant step, stepped out beside him. He was listening to music with headphones to be able to calm down more. On the way they did not meet anyone, perhaps a car that was passing by, but no person appeared in their environment.

Mark shared one of his headphones with him and they were both listening to the older one's favorite song (who obviously knew the lyrics by heart and sang slowly every time he listened to them). The minor on the part of him, with the fact that the singer's modulation was zero, he only dedicated himself to enjoying the melody.

Donghyuck at one point took the other's hand, who between surprised and grateful, intertwined his fingers. Mark tightened his grip and the younger understood the signal.

"Let's go home." He smiled at him and led him by the hand back.

"Shit..." he sighed as soon as they entered his home. "I felt like I was gonna die right there."

"Easy, we're home... hyung... you went out."

"I got out," he smiled. "There was still no one...

"For something you begin..." He ruffled his hair and they both let out a small laugh.

"My mother had asked me if you would stay for dinner."

"If it's not a bother, of course, I'm happy to eat from your mother's hand."

"You well know that they adore you..."

"They adore the parasite that does not detach from his son."

"They adore the boy who managed to make his son shine again." They both stared into each other's eyes. Mark couldn't take it anymore and went over to hug him. "Y-you changed my life."

"Don't say that... I didn't walk for you, I didn't feel for you, I didn't react for you, I didn't smile for you... you have done everything, hyung," they smiled.

They both went up to the elder's room and Mark went straight to his bed.

"You never told me what happened before you moved here," he said as he settled in next to him.

"I was bullied at school."

"Damn..." The image of Mark having severe panic attacks, surrounded by people wishing him the worst, didn't seem very pleasant.

"Everything left me bad, everything reminded me and... my parents decided that it would be better to return here. I don't know if I could have even left my house if we stayed there."

"I'm grateful to meet you... but the reason makes me so sad..."

"Well, but that's in the past, the important thing is that now I have you."

"Have you thought about going back to school?"

"Yes..." he sighed. "Maybe half a day, I don't see myself capable of more."

"But start going little by little, you could leave by going half an hour... I don't know... I'd like to see you there."

"I'll check with my psychologist, okay?"

"Yes," he settled on the chest of the other, who gave him caresses on his hair.

"Let's keep watching the series." Donghyuck took control of the television and they continued to watch what was left. "If you're sleepy you can sleep."

"Mmh..." Mark smirked unconsciously when he saw the younger boy acting that way.

[...]

Little by little, Donghyuck managed to make him go out more often and for longer. Between his company and therapy, Mark was improving wonderfully.

"Easy hyung." Mark took his hand firmly. "Quiet."

"Can I hug you?" Donghyuck swallowed hard and nodded. Mark sank into the minor's contact and stopped thinking for a few minutes.

"Mark Lee, Mark Lee," they heard one of the nurses in the distance.

"Let's go hyung." Mark took a deep breath and walked towards the room he was being called from.

"Does he come with you?" Donghyuck nodded. "Come in," they both entered the office.

Donghyuck would give him smiles from time to time, to relax him.

"So?" His mother asked once they left.

"I'm blind," Mark said sarcastically.

"I have to pay, wait a minute." He got up from his seat and walked away from them.

"Hyung you're shaking," Donghyuck said, then took one of his hands. "Your hands are cold." He put both his hands around.

"I feel like I'm going to pass out," he said as he came over to hug the youngest. Donghyuck leaned against the wall, then left his arms around him. "There are a lot of people here." He hid his face on the boy's neck.

"They're not going to do anything to you." he put his hands on Mark's waist.

"Yes I know... I just have to get used to it."

"Come on guys." They went out and got in the car, to go home.

"People wear me out," he said from his bed. "You can play, I'm not going to sleep." Donghyuck nodded and turned on the computer to start playing.

"Do you hear me?... Yes, I hear you ... him? No, no… really?… Yes, that's it," he laughed. "He sure likes to be fucked, disgusting shit," he laughed out loud. "It must be one more fagot of those..."

Mark felt his heart clench at his words, he disliked those insults a lot and he didn't find any logic to them. And apart from being said without thinking, in automatic mode, as if hating was something by default. However, he was silent, he did not want to start a fight over something insignificant (according to him) with his best friend.

"Shit!" He sighed, took off his headphones and set them aside.

"Do you want to see the chapter that came out of the series?"

"It's better, if I keep playing I'll get angrier."

"Come here." He settled into his bed, leaving a space for Donghyuck, who leaned back comfortably. "You play well," he told him as he stroked his hair.

"You think so?"

"Yes, you play well," he started the series and tried to forget the bad time of a few moments ago, hugging Donghyuck from behind him. "You play very well," he said one last time before diving into the plot.

It was neither the first nor the last time that Mark felt like this, he felt like something oppressed him both inside and out in front of the other's words. He spent days thinking about why he reacted that way to simple comments, his friend was like that and he had to accept it after all. His parents never taught him any of that and to his knowledge, Donghyuck's mother didn't think that way either. He didn't know where he'd gotten that from... in time it would change, he thought.

Although the truth, it is not like it was a great sin to think that way, one ends up absorbing the energy that surrounds him.


End file.
